Long distance/ Inter-cultural relationships

Comment

Comment by Olga Sheean on April 27, 2009 at 11:27am

Thanks for creating this group, Hazel.

Long-distance relationships can be a source of great frustration and great passion to lots of couples. What I've seen in my practice is that people often get into this kind of relationship when they have some deeper issues around commitment or intimacy. Of course, it's not something we set up consciously. It's often a subconscious way of keeping true intimacy at a distance and of creating a seemingly legitimate excuse for not being able to commit to something deeper. When we're in a long-distance relationship (and I've been in two, in the past), there always seem to be circumstances that get in the way of bridging the gap - whether it's geographical or emotional. It usually amounts to the same thing anyway.

It's almost impossible to have an ever-deepening relationship with someone who's miles away - partly because certain issues can be avoided and therefore never addressed, which means you don't get to share/explore some of the deeper parts of yourself that make relationships interesting. The other obvious challenge is that you're both leading separate lives. This can be positive, in that you're both retaining your identity and pursuing your own interests/friendships, but it can also be a disadvantage in that you cannot have that special connectedness or understanding that comes from being an intimate part of someone else's life.

Some food for thought here and I look forward to hearing lots of different perspectives on this.

Olga